School Underbellies- Understanding Social Bullying By Creating Lasting Change Against School Violence

In the world of social media, violence may not even be physical.

By Catherine Patterson-Sterling, PhD, RCC

I did not realize that I may not know my students as well as I thought I did until my own children shared with me the “real student stories” on weekends or what was being posted on social media by their friends.  Furthermore, I had no idea about sub-accounts, chat groups, and other online gatherings where discussions about school outside of the school took place.

This is the land of social bullying and students navigate not only the reality of the physical  world, but they very much are intertwined with the digital world that can, with social bullying, make exclusion, rumors, toxic damage, and more accelerate on hyper-speed.

With social bullying- intimidation, cancel culture, and toxic commentary reigns supreme.

This subtle, but powerful exclusionary stronghold erodes friendships, isolates individuals, and can leave deep emotional scars long after high school has ended.

What is Social Bullying?

Social bullying includes a relational aspect in which people do not necessarily leave visible bruises, and instead, such behavior leads to exclusion, manipulation, and toxic negativity.

Some forms of social bullying include:

Exclusion- Leaving people out of groups, activities or conversations

Spreading Rumors- Sharing lies and gossip as a way of damaging individual’s reputations

Public Humiliation- Using jokes, sarcasm, and mockery in order to embarrass others

Manipulation- Pressuring individuals in friend groups to turn against others

Silent Treatment- This means withholding attention or communication as a form of control

The Damage of Social Bullying

Naturally, human beings are wired for belonging. With social bullying, individuals suffer from cut-off acceptance with the result being that they may feel invisible, unwanted, unworthy, shameful, and even powerless.

Social bullying can lead to:

-Anxiety and depression

-Low self-esteem and self-worth

-Withdrawal from school or social life

-Damaged trust in relationships and more trauma...

Technology as the Gasoline to the Social Bullying Fire

One of the concerning factors is that social bullying has a digital stage. In fact, social media with group chats and online forums, can amplify exclusion as well as gossip with embarrassing posts which remain timeless as well as stamped with permanency online.

Cyberbullying and social bullying can easily overlap by serving as a dynamic duo in the toxic damage to individuals which then overflows into schools with an acceleration on to a physical level.

The Antidote to School Violence and Social Bullying

The bright light of strong school culture and community overwhelms the dark shadows of social bullying. Furthermore, technology can be used to counteract social bullying when students build strong community around school culture events and post online.

In fact, schools can even have a bi-weekly photo event schedule by creating school-wide activities so that youth can thrive, express community in positive ways, and reinforce their sense of belonging.

School violence grows in disconnection and when school communities are connected with members feeling strong levels of fun as well as belonging, then isolation and bullying cannot make toxic roots.

Furthermore, schools can have friendly class competitions building community, engaging in pro-social activities, and also learning tools and skills for healthy relationships, communication, connection, boundaries, and more.

Social bullying thrives in a culture of silence and where people can freely leverage control over others without victims having power, value, and voice. With social skills training- isolation, intimidation, and other leveraging tactics fall flat because there is not a community of silence enabling the terror.

Instead, students learn how to set boundaries and establish limit lines while holding their own value as well as worth.

Social bullying may not always make headlines, but its impact runs deep. By recognizing it, talking about it, and fostering inclusive environments, schools and communities can give every young person the sense of belonging they need to thrive.

An Important Resource:

Thrive 360 Safe & Strong School Culture Resource can be a support for your school.

Thrive 360 is a safe & strong school culture resource filled with fun school-wide activities and classroom exercises to help schools:

•           Promote respect and belonging

•           Create early positive interventions around prosocial community building

•           Social skill building

•           Prevent bullying and exclusion

•           Teach students healthy skills for navigating digital and physical communities

•           Learn digital self-regulation

•           Foster healthy pro-community relationships

How Does it Work?

1)         Start with the Thrive 360 photo calendar with a school year of bi-weekly activities to strengthen safe community building and plan selfie-friendly events to post around your school to promote your thriving school culture.

2)         Create a Thrive 360 strong school culture digital ledger which is an ongoing digital entry system for classroom educators to document the ways they are doing classroom community building exercises/activities on their way to earning Thrive360 points and prizes. 

3)         Encourage Teachers to participate in Culture Boost Sessions or classroom-based activities as students work on twenty healthy habits for teens with pre-loaded videos, reflections, and quizzes loaded on to a learning management system for which every student can create an individual account and log-in. Students have access to work on over sixty lessons.

Order a yearly subscription for your school now with an additional second year for free at https://www.softskillstrainingcenter.com/challenges  Students can then create their own log-in for the culture boost sessions and classroom activities on the learning management system by clicking on the Thrive 360 VERIFIED SITE MEMBER link here:  https://www.softskillstrainingcenter.com/challenges 

About The Writer:

Catherine Patterson-Sterling, PhD, RCC is an educator of 25+ years with diverse experience in all levels of elementary, high school, and post secondary education as a teacher, counsellor, and clinical supervisor. With extensive experience in research and counselling, she understands the impact as well as sources of disengagement as well as chronic absenteeism on learners at all levels. She is also the creator of the new innovative programs including Thrive 360,   "Screen Time School", "Success Not Stress School" (a new positive mental health program) "Future Planning School", and “Twenty” sponsored by Soft Skills Training Center and Patterson-Sterling Consulting and Counselling Services.